Time.
Jiahleen Roungchun.
UCSD, fourth year.
Full of wonder at the world.
Learning every day. Moving forward.
RFRSH MSG ARCHV RNDM THM

Struggling, stressing, and stumbling every damn day for classes I have no passion for and for a major that has collectively taught me nothing except what I detest.

It’s a shame. It’s a goddamn shame. Just fighting to not fail anything for this last quarter. Gotta make it to that graduation and get the hell out of here. I’m tired of saying, “At least I’m making it to my graduation without failing any classes even though I despise the majority of them. Hell, I’m doing pretty well for someone who hates their major! And no, I have no idea what I’m doing with my career life.”

Of course I don’t, because at no extended period of time during my college experience have I been able to freely explore what I want to do, to solidify my interests and hone my skills. And neither has my countless other peers.

I’m tired of selling myself short. I’m tired of cutting out so many of my joys in life because of academics that I have no interest in. It’s my own fault, I suppose, that I’m in this place, but what else was I to do once I was swept and trapped in the typical Asian academic-driven course of life?

I can’t imagine how it feels like to actually work and invest 100% towards something you absolutely love, without having shit you hate weighing you down. I get glimpses of it now and then but it’s never been through my classes. It’s never been through the thousands upon thousands of dollars of tuition.

I see other people I love working towards what they love and I simply can’t wait to join them. I will be there, soon.

I just got to get these last five classes out of the way.

é  0  û    —    9:00pm
getfittogethot:

tradingwishesforgoals:

I want to be that woman so badly

Workin on it

Getting there. It’s been a hard journey but this is my goal.

getfittogethot:

tradingwishesforgoals:

I want to be that woman so badly

Workin on it

Getting there. It’s been a hard journey but this is my goal.

pchoop:

breaks down

Accuracy

Read More

é  0  û    —    12:15am

jececilia:

I support and love literally every single thing about you. Like, it scares me. How there are absolutely no exceptions. If it has anything to do with you, I’m all for it. I’m behind it, I’ll do it, I’ll adore it. How terrifying is that? I’m all yours. You scare me. I love it. 

é  11  û    —    11:07pm

jececilia:

I have so many regrets
But not a single one of them is you

é  3  û    —    10:50pm
Develop a healthy relationship with food. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re full, don’t eat. Eat vegetables to be good to your body, but eat ice cream to be good to your soul.

Take pictures of yourself frequently. Chronicle your life. Selfies are completely underrated. Even if the pictures are unflattering, keep them anyway. There will always be mountains and cities and buildings, but you will never look the same way as you did in that one moment in time.

Your worth does not depend on how desirable someone finds you. Spend less time in front of the mirror and more time with people who make you feel beautiful.

Close doors. Don’t hold onto things that no longer brings you happiness and do not help you grow as a person. It is okay to walk away from toxic relationships. You are not weak for letting go.

Forgive yourself. We all have something in our pasts that we are ashamed of, but they only weigh us down if we allow them to. Make amends with the old you and work every day to become the person that you’ve always wanted to be.
— Tina Tran, Tips to being a happier you (via girl-in-nike)
hjstory:

It’s funny how the same action can feel SO different just having you by my side…For more comic on love and relationship, check out my friend’s illustrations: Facebook.com/JubesComicBlogPage

hjstory:

It’s funny how the same action can feel SO different just having you by my side…

For more comic on love and relationship, check out my friend’s illustrations: Facebook.com/JubesComicBlogPage

Read More

é  1  û    —    8:35am

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

— (via wt-fchen)
tylerknott:

Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson #tylerknott

tylerknott:

Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson #tylerknott

Overwhelmed.

There are too many lines of thought running through my mind and spilling over each other, into each other. Information, reminders, dates, ideas, memories, emotions. I simply cannot process everything. I can’t keep up. When I’m able to focus on one thing, something else slips out from the other side of my mind, causing me to panic over remembering what it was. I feel like I’m scrambling around trying to keep everything straight in my head but my usual tactics are not working. Even trying to take things one at a time seems like an impossible task.

It scares me how overwhelmed my brain is.
How forgetful I am, how distracted I am.
But surely… surely this is only temporary.

é  0  û    —    8:23pm